


Four Years + Any More = Lifelong Trauma

by ɀìɾçօղìմʍɀҽąӀօէ (Jade444)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: I should make a list of the bloodswaps shouldn't i, Karkat is Fuchsia Because I say So, M/M, Only sometimes tho, SAO AU, Semi rapey vibes, bloodswap au, in which sburb is a VR game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-08-09 22:48:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20125117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jade444/pseuds/%C9%80%C3%AC%C9%BE%C3%A7%D6%85%D5%B2%C3%AC%D5%B4%CA%8D%C9%80%D2%BD%C4%85%D3%80%D6%85%D5%A7
Summary: Karkat somehow manages to survive a stupidly complicated death game, and has to recover very slowly as he is haunted by nightmares. Stood by his friends, complicated problems arise as they are forced to mingle with humans that may rather completely ignore their existence.





	1. ====>WAKE UP.

You were running. You couldn't remember how the hell you even got there, into this situation, but you had to run. There was no way to tell what you were running from, it was gaining on you too fast to risk a glance back. But there was also the large part of you that didn't want to look even if you could. It was like a flashback to your home planet, where you grew up. Running from something chasing you, not wanting to identify the person in case it was someone you knew. A way to avoid the emotional pain it would put you through. Emotions were a weakness, after all.

But then you remembered. That stupid game. After you had arrived on planet Earth you'd expected to be out of the violence and nonsense. What would a game be other than a stupid way to kick back and relax to forget the world? Boy were you wrong. The moment you put on the stupid headgear you knew something was off. And then the lack of the ability to leave the session as soon as you were in, being paired with the people you'd decided to play with in a game of death.

It had started with a complete replica of your house, and the client player assigned to you building said house up until you could reach some stupid portal.

And then it spiraled and spiraled until you got the notification from the server that you could not, in fact, log out until the game was finished. You went into the game at around 7 sweeps, and came out at 9. So about four human years. Four human years you were stuck in the damn game, when you added the time necessary to shuttle off into paradox space to link up to a different players' session.

And now you were back. How the hell were you back? Then again, you couldn't remember ever leaving. Curse your damn legs, you couldn't go much faster, and you were already stumbling. It wasn't long until you were falling on your knees and the darkness that was coming consumed you.

**===> KARKAT, WAKE UP.**


	2. ===> CONFRONT HIM.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, also it's a little disorganized, and has a bit much of internal dialogue and stuff, so,,, yeah.

You surged awake in your bed, feeling your clothes drenched in sweat.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you've just woken up from a horrific nightmare. You have had to deal with nightmares your whole life, the only time you didn't experience them was when you had no dreams at all. And after the four year long death game, they've gotten even worse. You suppose the four years of technically physical sleep would help store up some energy, but many restless nights have followed and you are feeling worse for wear. Not only that, but after four years of not getting proper nutrition in your body, you're practically a twig. And it certainly doesn't help that you can hardly eat anything without throwing it up.

You must have alerted one of your friends, who was sleeping in the same room. It was Kanaya, looking just a little less gaunt than you, but still substantially bad, given her vibrant and healthy appearance she used to have.

“Are You Alright, Karkat?” She asked tiredly, and you had to nod, or else it would prompt needless worry. All your friends went through the exact same thing, they didn't deserve to have to worry about you as well as dealing with their own issues.

Honestly you were surprised most of your friends had even made it out.

The game was complicated but the rules simple. You had to get to the end. You were given a certain strife specibus, and a few different kinds of inventory specibi. You were also assigned a class and aspect, and were expected to develop those and level up as you went through the game.

As soon as one person in your party died, you had to start over. However, as soon as you god tiered, you were immortal except for certain kinds of deaths. If you died as a god tier, you lost one life. If you lost three lives, you died in real life. Nepeta god tiered earlier on, but then was killed by Eridan while trying to protect Equius, who also god tiered. After she died it didn't take long for Equius to rush headlong into a dangerous situation and waste all of his extra lives.

You had all started out as a party of 12, but now there was 9. Eridan, Nepeta, and Equius were all gone. That left you with some people of your party you would have liked to trade for others, but there's not much you could really do anyways.

Kanaya went back to sleeping, and you decided to get up early, possibly get some food before most of the others took all the good stuff. Ever since you had arrived on the planet, you were put in a special program to help adjust to human life. And then you had gone into that stupid game, missing four years of all that work. So now you and all the other survivors that also played the game were going to the same program building, that simultaneously helped the trolls learn about Earth and helped everyone to recover from the traumatic events.

So now you and your friends were split between rooms that were filled with bunk beds. You thought this building may have been for a sort of addict recovery program, but couldn't care much. It was utilized for you guys and as a school instead now. You entered the cafeteria room, heading over to the line that had already started forming for you to get your tray of food. You picked some of the foods that ran out the fastest, for good reason. Whatever trolls said about humans having bad taste and being weird, they could all agree that a lot of the food was actually decent.

Then again, as a fuchsia, you were always treated to more than decent food on a regular basis. You suppose that was one of the upsides to being royalty, but you still hated it. Everyone always expected you to be the leader, but guess what, you were shit at it. You had no want to be a leader no matter what. It didn't help that your friends had always expected you to make the best decisions ever because OBVIOUSLY royalty had no bad ideas.

You took your tray to a table, eyeing one of the humans that were sitting across the room. You specifically knew this one, your session intertwined more often than you had liked. He'd never taken off his stupid shades in game, and that was mirrored clearly in reality as well. He was just like his stupid brother, but with rounder shades. You think his name is Dave, but you could be wrong. You just know his brothers' name better, because it sounds so fucking stupid. What kind of lusus- or, parent, would name their kid Dirk?

Either way, the human clearly spotted you staring, and instantly you flicked your gaze away. Well, actually it wasn't that clear, but his head had turned in your direction. Then you realized he had been looking toward Dirk, who'd just entered next to his friend, Jake. Thank gog. You wouldn't be able to stand any confrontation this early in the morning, especially as your hands still trembled from the aftershock of the nightmares. You shakily took a bite of the meat on your plate, already pre-cut up since none of these people were trusted with knives.

You kept your head down as you ate, fins flattened against the sides of your head as an obvious sign of anxiety. You also kept your head down as you got up and carried the remnants of your food toward the trash, not wanting to eat it all because it would just come back up later. Or, you were heading there, but you collided with something solid, tray flipping forward and all over the object. Or, rather, person. You looked up to see those stupid fucking shades. It seemed like an eternity you two were staring at each other, but then you were suddenly lightly pushed away.

“come on man, I just washed these damn clothes.”

“Well then maybe you should watch where you're fucking going.” You growled your response, glaring. You knew by now your fins had flared a little to look more threatening, but it didn't help that you were sure as hell more than half a foot shorter than this guy. Weren't highbloods supposed to be really tall? Apparently not you though.

Nonetheless, after no more comment from Dave – you still didn't know if that was right – you bent down to clean up the mess on the floor. The human went to leave, but whilst he did so he stepped on your hand, and left without a hint of an apology. You growled quietly, but despite the want to rip his damn throat out right then, you had to stay calm. After all, it would be very unfortunate to be kicked off the planet due to murdering one of their precious natives.

However, something about that small interaction was weighing on your mind even throughout the day. You couldn't get it off your mind. And like hell were you going to admit that you more than once felt like pitch flirting with that asshole when you passed each other in the hallway.

By the time dinner rolled around you lingered in the doorway of the cafeteria, gaze boring into Dave from across the room.

**====> KARKAT, CONFRONT HIM.**


	3. ===> ESCAPE PLAN B.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hah. I'm evil. Karkat is highblood so he's got issues.

There was little self control after you got your tray, and something inside you forced your body to walk over to that stupid table Dave always sat at, and set your tray down on the table with a little more force than was probably necessary. The plastic utensils on his plate rattled slightly while you sat down.

“So who the fuck are you supposed to be, jackass?” You snarled the question out, staring at those stupid shades like you could develop some sort of X-Ray and see into the others' thoughts.

“are you planning on paying me back for ruining my clothes? Getting a replacement uniform takes out of my personal credits, you know.” Dave replied, then took a sip from the apple juice box he'd been supplied with for the meal. “It's good money I could spend on more apple juice. Now I can only have one juice box today.”

“Oh and like you are going to die without your precious fucking juice-” You had to look at the tag sewed onto Dave's chest to figure out his last name, the tag saying _Da. Strider_. “-Strider.” You finished, picking up your fork to stab into a piece of some weird vegetable on your plate. Looked kind of like a miniature, green tree. Whatever.

“I might actually die without my juice, yes.” Dave said, stoic expression staying on his face, though you could hear the smirk in his voice.

You rolled your eyes. What a wriggler. “Poor little wriggler can't go for a day without having his optimal amount of nutrition fluid.”

“Wow I thought I had reached the peak of being unable to understand you guys but now you've just proved me wrong.”

You rolled your eyes and just shoved more food in your mouth, looking away. And then nearly choked on your food. Terezi was coming into the cafeteria and loudly talking about something to Vriska, who shot a glare in your direction.

“Oh, fuck me.” You mutter under your breath, prompting a small amused sound from Strider.

“Is that an invitation or a dare?” Dave replied, then followed your gaze toward the two. Terezi had obviously caught your scent and made a beeline between the tables toward you. It didn't take long for strangling arms to be wrapped around you, feeling your face.

You just let the whole thing happen until her hands brushed over your horns and you reflexively ducked away, hissing. “Hands off the merchandise, Terezi.” You growled, prying her hands away from your face.

“I'll only stop if you let me get a sip-”

“Oh fuck no. Plus didn't you tell me to eat more garlic or whatever so you'd stop being tempted to drink my 'nasty ass fish blood'?” You said with much sarcasm.

Terezi went over to Dave and seemed to do some sort of weird complicated handshake.

You nearly choked on your next bite of food. “Since when was this a development that could fuckin happen?” You said lowly after catching your breath.

“Me and Strider are developing a cool kids club, Karkles, and you're not invited.” Terezi said with a wide grin on her face, swinging around her cane and tapping it against the table legs. “Only cool kids are allowed.”

“Isn't my caste on the 'cool' side of the spectrum though?” You tried, but mostly regretted it. You always hated using your caste as leverage in any situation. It just make your skin crawl. But it was expected of you of course.

“You're saying that to the one who technically just barely qualifies as a cool color, and I am still infinitely cooler than you.” Terezi stayed standing up and nudged Dave, as if telling him to say something. Finding no response other than the loud sipping from his juice box, she continued anyways. “And anyways, your royal highness, we don't want you trying to overthrow our leadership.”

You felt a growing anger coiling in your chest, like a rope being pulled on each side. Unfortunately as a highblood, his rope was a little thinner and brittle than most others.

“I don't want to be your shitty leader anyways, and I sure as fucking hell don't need your nookblasting idiotic group wasting my fucking time.” You said, and luckily managed to hide your actual anger in the normal high volume tone you always had.

Terezi obviously had been trying for that kind of reaction, and had a smug expression on her face.

_Tighter. _

You had no idea what she even wanted from you anymore. After rejecting you and ending your guys' relationship so long ago, you had managed to get over it. But now, recently, it's like she took on a whole new pitch flirting route.

“Get that fucking look off your gog damn face, Terezi.”

The expression on her face only intensified. “And what are you going to do if I don't, Your Majesty Karkle Sparkles?”

_Tighter. _

If that wasn't enough, your inability to respond with a decent comeback made it worse. You look back at Strider's face, which had ever such a smug hint to the normally stoic face.

If that wasn't just the cherry on top of the pile of lusus leaving that was decorated to look like an ice cream then Karkat didn't know what was.

_Snap._

Luckily you had enough sense to try and get up to leave. Before you could take more than five steps you were stopped short by Vriska's voice.

“Hey, You left your tray, dumbass.” She said, and when you whirled on her you had the satisfaction of seeing the slight regret on her face. Before you knew it you had her pinned to the wall with your hand around her throat. Then you realized, and saw security coming to break the situation up. You released her and stormed out of the room.

It was almost some kind of irony you didn't give a shit about that the hiding place you found was the dark closet. And it was apparently a popular place to hide, as the officials here had gotten some pleasant things in there. A few large stuffed animals, a soft beanbag chair, some squishy things that you could mess with when you were mad or stressed. You guessed someone had been in there recently, as there was a bunch of ripped up paper on the floor. The only way you could see was the very little light trickling in under the door.

You stayed in there for a while, tightening your grip on one of the squishy things. This one had eyes that pop out when you squeeze it tightly, and it was pretty calming, actually. A little demented by human standards, but you weren't complaining. You also supposed that you would have fallen asleep if you hadn't heard the footsteps approaching. They were clearly heels, which you didn't know how that jackass even managed to get his hands on some. Then the door opened, making you temporarily blind from the light from the hallway.

“Eheh, I knew you'd be in here, KK.” Sollux grinned, his colored glasses making it so you definitely couldn't see his eyes. He entered the small space and closed the door behind him. Your skin was crawling again being around him. He went to take the rest of the room on the beanbag chair next to you, making it so your arms and sides pressed together. “You know it's rather bad for royalty to be trapped in a closet like this, you know.”

You felt a growl rising up in your throat again. “Then why don't you get the fuck out of here?”

You could feel his hand roaming over your shoulders, wrapping an arm around you. You were used to this kind of stuff from him, but when his thumb pressed against the sensitive scar on your side, you got up. A dizziness overtook your vision but you didn't care, going to leave. “Fine. If you want me to fucking get out then fine.” You muttered under your breath, fins twitching on the sides of your face.

You heard the click of heels trailing behind you down the hallway, and you tried to navigate somewhere you could just lose him. Unfortunately the anxiety of the situation make you forget where you were going, or where you were in general. You found yourself down the one hallway that had absolutely no security and that hardly anyone ever used. _Oh, fuck me. _

You turned to glare at Sollux, and stepped back as he got closer. You backed up against the wall, and he leaned in so your faces were just inches apart. You could feel his breath mingle with yours as he planted an arm on the wall next to your head. “Completely fuck off Sollux. I told you I'm not interested.” You growled and put a hand on his chest to push him away, but he didn't budge.

“Come onnn, KK, I just wanna help you get a little more relaxed.” He purred, lisp more evident when he was closer. Why had the jackass even got that stupid thing done to his tongue? What was the point of having a forked tongue other than making you sound stupid?

You didn't know quite how to get out of this situation, and you didn't know how you were going to do so without nearly murdering this fuckass.

You closed your eyes for a moment and silently wished something would come and give you an easy way out.

**====> KARKAT, ACTIVATE ESCAPE PLAN B.**


	4. ==> GO OUTSIDE.

You couldn't activate your second best escape plan -the first being just walking away-, because escape plan Z had already worked. Thank gog your wish had apparently worked, only in the exact opposite way you had hoped. When you opened your eyes, Sollux was still there, but you spotted that sunglasses-wearing douchebag out of the corner of your eyes. It would have been so easy to take this moment to knee Sollux in the bulge, but he was already being yanked away by Dave.

“hey man, I think you should leave 'im alone, isn't there someone else you could try ordering around?”

“Ahaha, and who the fuck are you supposed to be? A pink skinned landdweller? Oh wait, those are called 'humans', I forgot.” Sollux said, but still seemed to accept the fact he was busted. He gave an irritated huff then walked away, giving Dave a look that you couldn't read.

As soon as he was gone, you finally spoke up, “So are you supposed to be some sort of shitty knight in shining armor or whatever?” You spat, and stayed where you were against the wall.

“Actually, yeah, in Sburb I was a Knight of Time.” He said, and you internalized a growl of disbelief. You'd been a knight too. But like hell were you going to try and do the weird thing people called 'finding similarities'.

“You know, a 'thank you' would suffice, man. It's not like i'm expecting you to yank my pants down and blow me right here as thanks” Dave said, and you cringed at the vivid imagery. You'd already seen some questionable shots from human websites and didn't quite think you wanted to experience any type of intimate situation with a human.

<strike> **===> Karkat, Thank him** </strike>

Entirely fuck that, you were not going to do that, specifically because Strider had asked for it. Maybe if he hadn't prompted it, but- oh who were you kidding you'd be too stubborn to do it anyways.

“I don't need to be fucking saved, I could have gotten out of that perfectly fine on my own, jackass.” You said, hoping that sounded convincing. It did not. Especially considering you were shaking a tiny bit when you pushed yourself away from the wall. Strider took a step forward, only causing you to back up again. Ow. That's a wall. You didn't have enough of a flesh cushion to protect yourself from even the smallest of bruises forming.

“i can tell you couldn't, man.” Strider said, but he saw there wasn't gonna be any response to that. At least, not a pleasant one. “if you want I can stick with you for a while so he doesn't get the same idea again.”

“And how am I supposed to know you're not going to try the same thing?” You growled suspiciously, crossing your arms in front of you. Whereas Sollux getting close made you entirely too uncomfortable, even the tiniest sign of Dave getting closer made you feel something else. Something about butterflies in your organs or whatever. Almost immediately you shut that feeling down and the force of your glare intensified.

The question prompted a loud sigh from the human, who pinched the bridge of his nose. “God, look, I'm not trying to fuck with you. I'm legit trying to help you. I need a little trust here. I'm entirely sure you're capable of defending yourself against me if the opportunity arises.” He said, but the word 'trust' only made you bristle all the more. “Okay, bad choice of words.” He admitted.

“I don't need a fucking bodyguard, thanks.” You snarled, tired of people thinking just because you're a fuchsia that you need special treatment and protection. If anything, they needed more protection from you.

“Okay man, just, think about it.”

A few moments passed. You blinked in confusion.

“I don't understand what you're getting out of this.” You said after a few more moments.

“Is it really necessary for me to get something out of it?” He asked.

You gave a frustrated grumble. “You've already made it clear that I owe you, so you could be racking up the favors I need to do for you.”

“look, you won't owe me for this. I'm just trying to help.” He just seemed to be repeating himself over and over. You're pretty sure if you hear it anymore you'll claw your fins off.

“Gog, fine, if I let you do this will you leave me alone afterward?” You had to make sure he agreed to that.

“Mmmm maybe for a while, but you still owe me.” Strider replied, then held out his hand. It took a moment for you to process this, the first thing coming to mind being that wow, holding hands is a little much. Then you realized that your face must be turning pink if the warm feeling said anything about that, and coughed quietly. This douchebag obviously didn't mean anything by it, and you were overreacting.

So you ignored his hand and brushed past anyways. He followed anyways, you could hear his sneakers squeaking on the tiled floor.

<strike> **==> Karkat, Thank Him** </strike>

You honestly felt a little guilty for not thanking him, but of course you still couldn't. Maybe there was a way you could indirectly thank him without making it too obvious. You'd enlist the help of Terezi, but recently she's been even more insufferable than Sollux.

On the track of Terezi, you couldn't help but notice she'd been rather close to Dave today.

“So you and Terezi, what's going on there?” You asked, slowing a little to allow the human to walk beside you.

That question seemed to take him off guard. “pfffft. Nothin' at all. Like she said, we're making the cool kids club.” He said evasively, looking away. Another lull in conversation approached, and you counted the minutes it took to get back to the dining hall. Suddenly you were faced with a wall of anxiety. You didn't want to be around any of your friends right now. Kanaya was probably with them, and she was the only one you would even try to tolerate right now if you could. You glanced over at Dave, who was probably looking at you. You just... couldn't tell, what with those stupid shades.

It was tempting to try and take them off of him before he could stop you.

“you alright?” He asked, now it was clear he was staring at you. You had to look away to stop from doing the same.

“I don't know where to go now.” You admitted, knowing you'd be kicking yourself in the ass for this later. You debated going to your room, but it was pretty certain that there was going to be people already in there.

Guess it was time to decide where to go.

**==> KARKAT, GO OUTSIDE. **


End file.
